Wayne Campbell: Or, imagine, being able to be magically whisked away to... Delaware.
[pauses]
Wayne Campbell: Hi. I'm in Delaware.

We fear change.

Garth Algar

Garth Algar: Do you ever get the feeling Benjamin's just using us?
Wayne Campbell: Good call. It's like he wants us to be liked by everyone. I mean Led Zeppelin didn't write tunes everybody liked. They left that to the Bee Gees.

Benjamin is nobody's friend. If Benjamin were an ice cream flavor, he'd be pralines and dick.

Garth Algar

I once thought I had mono for an entire year. It turned out I was just really bored.

Wayne Campbell

Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries.

Wayne Campbell

Wayne Campbell: She's a babe.
Garth Algar: She's magically babelicious.
Wayne Campbell: She tested very high on the stroke-ability scale.

Mikita's Manager, Glen: Yeah I know what you'd like to do. You'd like to find the guy who did it, rip his still beating heart out of his chest and hold it in front of his face so he can see how black it is before he dies.
Davy: Actually, I was thinking of filing a grievance with the union.
Mikita's Manager, Glen: Well, the world's a twisted place.

Did you know that if you kill a man in the dead of winter you can see steam rising out of him? The Indians though it was your soul escaping.

Mikita's Manager, Glen

I know I don't have his looks. I know I don't have his money. I know I don't have his connections, his knowledge of fine wines. I know sometimes when I eat I get this clicking sound in my jaw...

Wayne Campbell

Benjamin: Do you have a lawyer?
Wayne Campbell: Yes. Ahm, no. We're between lawyers right now. You see, our first lawyer screwed our affairs so bad.
Garth Algar: That's right. I walked right to that office - that's what I did - and I reached across that desk and I grabbed him by his big fat head and I said "Listen, man. I'm not going to jail for *you* or for anybody."

Did you ever see that "Twilight Zone" where the guy signed a contract and they cut out his tongue and put it in a jar and it wouldn't die, it just grew and pulsated and gave birth to baby tongues? Pretty cool, huh?

Garth Algar

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Wayne's World Quotes

Wayne Campbell: I mean, there are two Darren Stevens, right? Dick York and Dick Sargeant. Yeah, right, as if we wouldn't notice. Oh hold on: Dick York, Dick Sergeant, Sergeant York... Wow, that's weird.

Did you know that if you kill a man in the dead of winter you can see steam rising out of him? The Indians though it was your soul escaping.

Mikita's Manager, Glen

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