Jeremy Grey: Do you know what that awareness is, Gloria?
Gloria Cleary: What?
Jeremy Grey: That we're all one. That seperateness is an illusion, and that I'm one with everyone - with the Prime Minister of England, and my cousin Harry, you and me, the fat kid from 'What's Happening,' the Olsen twins, Natalie Portman, the guy who wrote 'Catcher in the Rye,' Nat King Cole, Carrot Top, Jay-Z, Weird Al Yankovic, Harry Potter, if he existed, the whore on the street corner, your mother. We're all one.

Gloria Cleary: You're really talented.
Jeremy Grey: I can go on all day. Last week I made, to scale, a balloon model of Wrigley Field. I don't have anywhere to put it.
Gloria Cleary: I'll have a sports car.
Jeremy Grey: How about a dance?
Gloria Cleary: That's what I really wanted.

John Beckwith: I have a better idea. Throw an interception to Claire, get her feeling good about herself. You think you can do that?
Jeremy Grey: John, I was first team All-State. I can put the ball anywhere I want to. I'll make it rain out here.

Jeremy Grey: Oh, that's great? Why don't you feed me to the lions? Step on my head when I am drowning.
John Beckwith: What?
Jeremy Grey: What do you mean what? What a great friend. John, you have a wedding and a reception to seal the deal. There's no overtime.
John Beckwith: No overtime. Yeah, well what about the Chang wedding three years ago. 2am, you drag me to watch you and some chick play Mah-Jongg with her grandmother? In a retirement home.
Jeremy Grey: Completely different situation. She was a very family-oriented girl.
John Beckwith: Yeah.
Jeremy Grey: That was my first Asian!

Share that with the Dalai Lama, jack ass!

Jeremy Grey

John Beckwith: You better lock it up.
Jeremy Grey: No, you lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: You lock it up!
John Beckwith: You lock it up!
Jeremy Grey: Lock it up!

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Wedding Crashers Quotes

I'm gonna go see Dr. Finklestein and I'm gonna tell him we have a whole new bag of issues. We can forget about mom for a while.

Jeremy Grey

John Beckwith: We lost a lot of good men out there.
Bridesmaid: Playing with the Yankees?
John Beckwith: Yes, we lost a lot of good men to trades and unruly fans. Look I don't want to talk about it. I'm sorry.