Doug Madsen: Remember the theme of this trip, whenever wherever?
Woody Stevens: Oh, fine, whatever. We'll stay the night and get gas in the morning. Okay?
Doug Madsen: Fine, I just don't understand what the rush is.
Woody Stevens: There's no rush! I just wanna ride, just ride Sally ride. You are so weird! You ask some weird shit and say the weirdest things. Why don't you just, what, what?

Doug Madsen: Look, guys, sign at the curve of the road!
Bobby Davis: Madrid.
Woody Stevens: Spain?

Jack: Those assholes got balls.
Red: I'm gonna put them in my mouth and chew on them!
Jack: You're gonna put what in your mouth?

Forget about them, more fun for us! Like what you see, huh? Let's get involved!

Highway Patrolman

Bobby Davis: I think we better get out of here.
Woody Stevens: No, we'll get out of here at sundown after we've had our beverage.

Doug Madsen: Come on...
Woody Stevens: Fine, I will get naked with my gay friends. If any of them look at my junk, I will kill them!

Dudley Frank: I got a tat.
Doug Madsen: Hell just froze over.
Woody Stevens: Let's see it!
Dudley Frank: I'm a biker dude! -Shows tattoo of Apple logo
Woody Stevens: It's an Apple.
Dudley Frank: I know, it's trademarked, but what are they gonna say... It's in my skin, bitch!

Dudley Frank: Thanks, Woody, I feel really safe with you.
Woody Stevens: I noticed that. If you ever lay your head on my back while riding bitch, I'll throw you into traffic!
Dudley Frank: I was just trying to keep the wind out of my face.
Woody Stevens: I felt you smell my neck!
Bobby Davis: Did you smell that man's neck?
Dudley Frank: His cologne is fantastic. It's musky with an oaky finish like a... lawyer cowboy.
Bobby Davis: A lawyer cowboy?

[to the other three] I'm just swimming here with my gay friends.

Woody Stevens

Mother-in-Law: In my day, the women stayed home. Not the lazy men.
Bobby Davis: In your day, men were busy building pyramids!

It's ok. I just hit my face!

Dudley Frank

Maggie: You coming back through?
Dudley Frank: Maybe. A biker never knows. A week, a month.
Dudley Frank: Six days, ten hours, 27 minutes, give or take six minutes for wind resistance.

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Wild Hogs Quotes

[after getting a fist-tap from Woody and nearly wiping out] Man, oh, man. I almost lost it back there. I didn't know what was going on.

Dudley Frank

You screwed up their lives? And by doing that, you decided to screw up our lives? Asshole!

Doug Madsen