Matilda: What time is it?
Derek Zoolander: Almost five.
Matilda: What? Hey, guys, that show is in three hours. Derek is dead unless we get that evidence. Do you guys...
Hansel: Whoa, whoa, easy! How 'bout a "Good afternoon, Derek and Hansel. Thanks for the freak fest last night."
Hansel: So I'm repelling down Mount Vesuvius when suddenly I slip, and I start to fall. Just falling, ahh ahh, I'll never forget the terror. When suddenly I realize "Holy shit, Hansel, haven't you been smoking Peyote for six straight days, and couldn't some of this maybe be in your head?"
Derek Zoolander: And?
Hansel: And it was. I was totally fine. I've never even been to Mount Vesuvius.
Derek Zoolander: But why male models?
J.P. Prewitt: Are you serious? I just told you.
Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.Derek Zoolander
Damnit Derek, I'm a coal miner, not a professional film or television actor.Larry Zoolander
I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.Derek Zoolander
They're break-dance fighting.Mugatu