Dude, I service society by rocking, OK? I'm out there on the front lines liberating people with my music!

Dewey Finn

You don't have to worry about me because I'm a hard-ass. And if a kid gets out of line, I got no problem smacking them in the head.

Dewey Finn

Those that can't do, teach, and those that can't teach... teach gym.

Dewey Finn

Tomika: [explaining why she is nervous] They'll laugh at me.
Dewey Finn: What? Why would they laugh at you?
Tomika: I dunno... because I'm fat.
Dewey Finn: Tomika... Ok, you've heard of Aretha Franklin right? She's a big lady. But when she sings, she blows people's minds! Everyone wants to party with Aretha! And, you know who else has a weight problem?
Tomika: Who?
Dewey Finn: Me. But when I get up there and start doing my thing, people worship me! Because I'm sexy, and chubby, man.
Tomika: Why don't you go on a diet?
Dewey Finn: Because I like to eat! Is that such a crime?

Dewey Finn: Look the first thing you do when you start a band is talk about your influences. That's how you figure out what kind of band you want to be. So who do you like? Blondie?
Marta: Christina Aguilera
Dewey Finn: Who? No. Come on. What? You, Shortstop.
Leonard: Puff Daddy
Dewey Finn: Wrong. Billy?
Billy: Liza Minnelli?

Sell my guitars? Would you tell Picasso to sell his guitars?

Dewey Finn

Give up, just quit, because in this life, you can't win. Yeah, you can try, but in the end you're just gonna lose, big time, because the world is run by the Man. The Man, oh, you don't know the Man. He's everywhere. In the White House... down the hall... Ms. Mullins, she's the Man. And the Man ruined the ozone, he's burning down the Amazon, and he kidnapped Shamu and put her in a chlorine tank! And there used to be a way to stick it to the Man. It was called rock 'n roll, but guess what, oh no, the Man ruined that, too, with a little thing called MTV! So don't waste your time trying to make anything cool or pure or awesome 'cause the Man is just gonna call you a fat washed up loser and crush your soul. So do yourselves a favor and just GIVE UP!

Dewey Finn

Billy: You're gonna talk to me about style? You can't even dress yourself... look at that bow tie.
Dewey Finn: Don't you be talkin' about my bow tie.

God of Rock, thank you for this chance to kick ass. We are your humble servants. Please give us the power to blow people's minds with our high voltage rock. In your name we pray, Amen.

Dewey Finn

Dewey Finn: In the words of AC/DC: We roll tonight... to the guitar bite... and for those about to rock... I salute you.

Freddy: Are we going to be goofing off like this everyday?
Dewey Finn: We're not goofing off. We're creating musical fusion.
Freddy: Ok, so are we going to be creating musical fusion everyday?
Dewey Finn: Yes.
Freddy: Cool!

I've just been informed that all your children are missing.

Rosalie Mullins

FREE Movie Newsletter