J.D.: Is your life perfect?
Veronica Sawyer: I'm on my way to a party at Remington University... No, my life's not perfect. I don't really like my friends.
J.D.: I... I don't really like your friends either.
Veronica Sawyer: Well, it's just like - they're people I work with, and our job is being popular and shit.
J.D.: Maybe it's time to take a vacation.

Veronica, why are you pulling my dick?

Heather Duke

Grow up Heather, bulimia's so '87.

Heather Chandler

You blow it tonight, girl, and it's keggers with kids all next year.

Heather Chandler

What is your damage, Heather?

Veronica Sawyer

Kurt Kelly: Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no fags allowed rule?
J.D.: Well, they seem to have an open door policy for assholes though don't they?

It's one thing to want someone out of your life, but it's another thing to serve them a wake-up cup full of liquid drainer.

Veronica Sawyer

Chaos was what killed the dinosaurs, darling

J.D.

People will look at the ashes of Westerburg and say, "Now there's a school that self-destructed, not because society didn't care, but because the school was society." Now that's deep.

J.D.

Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.

Heather Chandler

Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photography involving tennis rackets...

Principal

Veronica Sawyer: Watch it Heather, you might be digesting food there.
Heather McNamara: Yeah, where's your urge to purge?
Heather Duke: Fuck it.

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