Memphis: Roger, I have a problem...
Roger the Car Salesman: Yes?
Memphis: I've been in L.A. for three months now. I have money, I have taste. But I'm not on anybody's "A" list, and Saturday night is the loneliest night for the week for me.
Roger the Car Salesman: Well, a Ferrari would certainly change that.
Memphis: Perhaps, Mmmm. But, you know, this is the one. Yes, yes yes... I saw three of these parked outside the local Starbucks this morning, which tells me only one thing. There's too many self-indulgent wieners in this city with too much bloody money! Now, if I was driving a 1967 275 GTB four-cam...
Roger the Car Salesman: You would not be a self-indulgent wiener, sir... You'd be a connoisseur.
Memphis: Precisely. Champagne would fall from the heavens. Doors would open. Velvet ropes would part.
Donny: Hello, and welcome to "TV Car Trivia!" First question, who was the driver of a '73 Firebird? Uh, Otto?
Otto Halliwell: Uh, Jim Rockford, "Rockford Files".
Sara "Sway" Wayland: Gimme "Columbo".
Kip: A Peugeot convertible.
Donny: What color?
Mirror Man: How do you know that?
Kip: 'Cause I love that show.
Mirror Man: Man, I got three words for all of y'all: Get a life!
Hey, lookie here, she's a brick... duh-duh-duh, house!Mirror Man
Hello, ladies. I always was a sucker for a redhead.Sway
Otto Halliwell: How Many Days?
Otto Halliwell: How many in your crew?
Memphis: One, but, I'm here to negotiate for a second.
Memphis: Still looking amazing.
Sway: While you still look like a bible salesman.
Memphis: You're healed.
Memphis: For the next 24 hours, all your decision-making privileges have been removed. You got it?
Mirror Man: It's cool, man.
Memphis: Obviously, they're on to us. He's sniffing real close. If anything tonight appears out of place, I want you to cut bait, get out of there, and walk away. And get rid of this goddamn car!
Mirror Man: Ya' boy got skills, right?
Donny: Yeah you do. You look like a little ghetto smurf.
[to Driver Ed student] Don't touch nothing! You can't negotiate turns. You can't signal properly. You can't maintain speed. You can't parallel park. Hell, you can't drive, honey. Shit, I can't swim, I know I can't. So you know what I do? I stay my black ass out the pool!Donny
Memphis: Without disappointment you cannot appreciate victory.
Det. Roland Castlebeck: Did Eleanor tell you that?
The ladies are dirty. Walk away. The ladies are dirty.Memphis
Raymond Calitri: [over the phone] Time's up Atley. Bring me the kid and we'll settle this.
Atley Jackson: Which kid is that?
Raymond Calitri: Oh, The Cincinnati Kid, Billy the Kid. Which kid do you think I mean?
Atley Jackson: I think you mean Kip Raines.
Raymond Calitri: That's the kid.
Atley Jackson: You know what? That little son of a bitch evaded me.
Raymond Calitri: Find him, Atley.
Atley Jackson: What if I can't?
Raymond Calitri: Then big brother takes the fall for the slipup. One Raines is as good as another. It never Raines but it pours. [hangs up]
Atley Jackson: Dammit! Well, I guess you can thank your big brother. He just took your place under the guillotine.