Ian Miller: You're that waitress.
Toula Portokalos: Seating hostess, actually.
Any second now he's gonna look at me and say, "You're so not worth this."Toula Portokalos
Maria Portokalos: We must let Kosta think this was his idea.
Aunt Voula: All right, I know.
Maria Portokalos: That he came up with it.
Aunt Voula: All right.
Toula Portokalos: Ma, he's gonna figure it out.
Maria Portokalos: Don't you worry.
Aunt Voula: Okay, I know what to do you.
Maria Portokalos: You don't know what to do. You talk, talk, talk, all the time!
Aunt Voula: Do you want my help?
Maria Portokalos: Yes, I want your help!
Aunt Voula: Tell me what to say. But don't tell me what to say.
Maria Portokalos: Perfect!
Aunt Voula: Nikki, how come you no come to curler my hairs this morning?
Nikki: Ma! I had to drop Dimos at work. And now, I gotta go open the travel agency, because, you know, some jag-off and his big-ass girlfriend are too busy.
Athena: I'm going to The Jewel. Listen, I'll get you some pantyhose.
Maria Portokalos: No queen size. They make me look fat.
Toula Portokalos: I woke up with this huge zit this morning.
Ian Miller: Where?
Toula Portokalos: [points to spot on face] There.
Ian Miller: I had a huge zit this morning!
Toula Portokalos: Really? Where?
Ian Miller: [points to his face] Well, it was there, but it's gone now.
Toula Portokalos: Why?
Ian Miller: I put some Windex on it.
Put some Windex.Gus Portokalos
Give me a word, any word, and I show you that the root of that word is Greek.Gus Portokalos
Nick Portokalos: Listen, you know. I really think you should say: eho tria orchidea. It means: everyone, let's come in the house. I think everybody will really like it.
Ian Miller: Eho tria orchidea?
Nick Portokalos: Yeah! That's good! Very good! You got it!
Ian Miller: I'm not falling for that again, Nick.
Nick Portokalos: What?
Ian Miller: Yeah, what. Angelo? How do you say: everyone, let's go into the house?
Angelo: Eho tria orchidea!
Nick Portokalos: Hum?
Ian Miller: Everyone: eho tria orchidea! [translation: "I have three testicles!"]
Ian Miller: How do you say "thank you" in Greek?
Nick: "OrÃ©a viziÃ¡."
Ian Miller: "OrÃ©a viziÃ¡." [English translation: "Nice boobs."]
Gus Portokalos: Where are you going?
Toula Portokalos: I'm taking a pottery class.
Gus Portokalos: Ah! The Greeks invented pottery. Hmph.
Nice Greek girls who don't find a husband, work in the family restaurant. So here I am, day after day, year after year, 30 and way past my expiration date.Toula Portokalos