You know, I never told you this, but they based a movie on my family. Seriously. Titanic. They changed it a little. There's not boat, nothing sank. But I did pose naked for a portrait once.


If you're gonna marry someone you might as well marry your best friend.


This isn't The Graduate, this is Deliverance!


Life is short, but marriage is long... so drink up, and it will make it go a hell of a lot faster.


Katherine: [meeting Jeff] You don't look like a lawyer...
Jeff: You don't look like a Grandma.
Katherine: You ARE a lawyer! Full of shit.

[after revealing a secret to Sarah] You know, I really shouldn't drink this without a mixer.


Come on in, I'll put on a pot of Bourbon.


Sarah: Maybe every girl in my family have to sleep with you.
Beau Burroughs: I don't know if they have to, but they certainly have.

Life has to be a little nuts sometimes. Otherwise it's just a bunch of Thursdays strung together.

Beau Burroughs

Jeff: [to Sarah in the elevator, after she has apologized] If we have a daughter, Beau Burroughs doesn't come within a thousend miles of her.
Sarah: It stops with me!

Katharine: [in the bathroom, after the door hits him Jeff in the face] Jeff...
Jeff: Yeah?
Katharine: Go play with your dick.

I didn't come here to tell you that I can't live without you. I can live without you. I just don't want to.


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