David: You still haven't met his mum?
Shaun: Not yet!
Philip: Don't you get on with your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: It's not that I don't get on with her...
David: Are you ashamed by your mum, Shaun?
Shaun: No! I love my mum!
Ed: I love his mum too.
Shaun: Ed!
Ed: [singing] She's like butter!
Shaun: Ed!

Shaun: Who the hell put this on?
Ed: It's on random.
Liz: For fuck's sake!

Liz: It's just that with Ed here, it's no wonder I always bring my flatmates out, and then that only exacerbates things.
Shaun: What you mean?
Liz: Well, you guys hardly get on, do you?
Shaun: No... what does 'exacerbate' mean?

Shaun: Philip, have you still got the child-locks on?
Philip: Safety first, Shaun.

Shaun: [about Ed] Oh, he's sold a bit of weed now and then. You've sold pot.
Pete: Yeah. Once. In college. To you.

Shaun: [hands Liz flowers] Got you these.
Liz: [Liz reads label] "To a wonderful mum"?
Shaun: [sniggers] Oooh! Yeah, that's, because... I thought, it would be, funny, because of what you said last night about me y'know, don't wanna be my mum and that. It's just a little joke, just sort of spur of the moment...
Liz: [long pause] They're for your mum, aren't they?
Shaun: Yeah.
Liz: Smooth.

Barbara: [Over the phone] Some men tried to get into the house.
Shaun: Well are they still there?
Barbara: [Over the phone] I'm not sure, we've shut the curtains.

Ed, this is serious!


Ohh, for God's sake! He's got an arm off!


He's not my Dad, he's my stepdad!


Who died and made you fucking king of the zombies?


David: I'm not staying here.
Liz: David, don't, that's suicide.
Ed: I think he should go.

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