Dr. Buddy Rydell: She said she was going out with a friend named Andrea.
Dave Buznik: She doesn't have a friend named Andrea. Did she say Andrew?
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Oh, ah, yes Andrew... the testicle with legs.
Can you please give me your name Mr. Head, and please don't tell me it's Dick!Dr. Buddy Rydell
I'm not a homophobe, I'm a pulling out-my-penis in-front-of you-ophobe.Dave Buznik
Eskimos seem nice.Lou
I told you not to go there! I told you not to go there!Lou
You kicked some serious monk-ass there, baby!Dr. Buddy Rydell
Dr. Buddy Rydell: Alright, I'm going to need for you to retard your anger level a few notches and listen to me, can you do that?
Dave Buznik: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah... it's retarded, I'm retarded.
Look everybody, Pana Banana's got a heinie! He's got a heinie!Dave Buznik
Five hour drive to find out mommy had a jelly bean removed from her nose... Glad I missed work. Can we eat now?Dave Buznik
Lou: I have a question: Why is it that Chuck here thinks he could smoke?
Chuck: Cause I do whatever I want whenever I want, you little Spanish fruit topping.
Lou: Honey, at least I didn't make my aunt pregnant.
You can do it!Rudy Giuliani
[singing] I feel pretty ... oh, so pretty ... oh, so pretty and witty and... gay.Dave Buznik