Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?Ernie McCracken
One more time, sweetness.Ernie McCracken
Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music.Ernie McCracken
Run for the hills everybody, there's a giant shit-cloud coming.Ishmael
Ernie McCracken: It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker. Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag and your butt is kinda like an about-to-explode bratwurst.
Roy: Hey. Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling.
Ernie McCracken: Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck.
You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels.Ernie McCracken
Roy: Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?
Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.
Roy: Yeah, well he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a hint what it is. It's round, has three holes, and you put your fingers into it.
Ishmael: You leave Rebecca out of this.
Take that, you freaky piece of shit. You don't mow another guy's lawn.Roy
Claudia: It must be hard to spank your monkey.
Ishmael: You have a monkey?
Ishmael: Whatcha doin', Mr. Munson?
Ishmael: Flossin? Where the hell did I get "Munson"?
Roy: The name's Munson, what I'm doin' is flossin'.
Ishmael: You should try to quit. They say its bad for your heart, your lungs. It quickens the aging process.
Roy: Who's done more research than the good people at the American Tobacco Industry? They say its harmless. Why would they lie? If you're dead, you can't smoke.
Roy: Just because you're familiar with the missionary position doesn't make you a missionary.
Claudia: Look, Mr. Munster, you're not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across.
Roy: Oh yeah? And who are you, Alfred Einstein?