Would you like to touch my penis? I am a sex machine!

Exchange student

Denise: Just so you know, judging from my little experience, I kind of believe in fate. It just works in really fucked up ways sometimes.
Preston: Especially in your case. I'm sorry. You gave that to me, I just had to take it. Take care. Peace out, G!

Looks like someone's auditioning for "Soul Train."


I'll kick everyone's ass in this room!

Mike Dexter

You know who else I like that didn't get much play? Velma from Scooby-Doo. She was cool. She was a hip, hip lady.

Stoner Guy

There's a mirror right there. Take a look, you're white.


Denise: Besides, I heard that song was about his dog.
Preston: It's not about a dog. It's about a woman named Amanda. Who the hell names their dog Amanda?
Denise: My cousin had a dog name Samantha.
Preston: Shut up about the dog, okay?

Ritchie Koolboy: Aw damn, man. Our boy's a fag, yo.
DJ Sammy: Yo, who's a fag?
Kenny Fisher: Yo, both of y'all. That is a "Fragrance of Love" scented candle, bitch. Damn!

God, I always said I would never bother you about baseball, lord knows you have bigger things to worry about. But if you could make this pain in my shoulder stop for ten minutes, I would really appreciate it.

Billy Chapel

Jane Aubrey: You ever gotten your heart broken?
Billy Chapel: Yeah. When we lost the pennant in '87.

[consoling Mickey Hart after an embarrasing play] There's a bunch of cameras out there right now waiting to make a joke of this, Mick. So you can either stop, give them the sound bite, do the dance. Or you can hold your head up and walk by, and the next time we're in Boston, we'll go out there and work the wall together. Don't help them make a joke out of you.

Billy Chapel

Jane Aubrey: So, when you're away, I'll live my life and you'll live yours. And none of this stupid bullshit "why didn't you call me?" crap. And "what you do when you're not with me has nothing to do with me" and vice versa. No questions asked, no worrying, no obsessing.
Billy Chapel: That sounded perfect.

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