It's not that we're afraid, far from it, it's just that we've got this thing about death... It's not us!


So the combination is one, two, three, four, five? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! The kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

Dark Helmet

WHAT? You went over my helmet?

Dark Helmet

Colonel Sandurz: Prepair ship for light speed.
Dark Helmet: No, no, no. Light speed is too slow.
Colonel Sandurz: Light speed is too slow?
Dark Helmet: Yes. We're gonna have go right to... ludicrous speed.

My brains are going into my feet!

Dark Helmet

I bet she gives great helmet.

Dark Helmet

Merchandising, merchandising, where the real money from the movie is made. Spaceballs-the T-shirt, Spaceballs-the Coloring Book, Spaceballs-the Lunch box, Spaceballs-the Breakfast Cereal, Spaceballs-the Flame Thrower.


Oh! That's gonna leave a mark.


Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris: Damndest thing. So, What's the plan? I know you got one, so you might as well tell me what it is.
Frankie Dunn: It's your fault. Yeah, it's your fault she's lying in there like that. You kept after me until I trained her. I knew i shouldn't have done it, her being a girl and all. Everything keot telling me not to. Everything but you.

Maggie Fitzgerald: They took my leg, boss.
Frankie Dunn: It's gonna be alright, you hear?
Maggie Fitzgerald: I always hear your voice, boss.

I'm gonna get you out of here. These doctors around here don't know squat. Otherwise, why would they be living out here in the desert? As soon as you're able to be moved, we'll find someplace where they've actually studied medicine.

Frankie Dunn

Maggie Fitzgerald: Will you tell him I'm real sorry?
Eddie Scrap-Iron Dupris: No. I will do no such thing, Maggie.

FREE Movie Newsletter