[about Dirk] He can fuck really hard or he can fuck really gently. He's the best.


I have other interests. I'm a magician.

Reed Rothchild

I wanna fuck. It's my fucking big dick. Who wants to fuck?


Buck Swope: You're not being fair. This isn't fair.
Bank Worker: This financial institution cannot endorse pornography.
Buck Swope: Stop saying pornography. Why are you doing this to me? I am an actor. I am an actor.

Buck Swope: Doesn't it scare you? Working with evil forces?
Reed Rothchild: What?
Buck Swope: Evil forces.
Reed Rothchild: Evil? No man, it's not evil. It's an illusion.
Buck Swope: Confusion?

Dirk: I can't. I just can't get it hard. I just can't. I'm sorry.
Surfer: You shouldn't do this sorta thing, faggot.

Amber Waves: [screams] Oh, I don't want to do this any more. Honey, I can't. Let's just? Let's have fun now! Let's just go and go and go, because it's over. There's just too many things, too many things, too many things. Too many things.
Rollergirl: Okay.
Amber Waves: Let's go walk.

Too many things too many things too many things... I wanna go for a walk. Let's go for a walk.

Amber Waves

I'm a fuggin' idiot. I'm a fuggin' idiot. Fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot, fuggin' idiot...


Colonel James: They found something else.
Jack Horner: What?
Colonel James: Well... it's just... they're so cute when they're so young like that...
Jack Horner: Ah, Jesus...

Jack Horner: Do these characters have a name?
Dirk: The guy's name is Brock Landers.
Reed Rothchild: And his partner is Chest Rockwell.
Jack Horner: Those are some great names.

If it looks like shit, and it sounds like shit, than it must be shit.

Jack Horner

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