Kurt Longjohn: Little Bill.
Little Bill: Hey. Kurt. What's up?
Kurt Longjohn: What's wrong with you?
Little Bill: Ah... my fuckin' wife, man, she's over there... she's got some idiot's dick in her, people standing around watching - it's a fuckin' embarrassment.
Kurt Longjohn: Yeah. Yeah. I know.

I know fucking karate.

Dirk

Okay, now you're talking above my head. I don't know all of this industry jargon, YP, MP. All I know is that I can't get a record contract, we cannot get a record contract unless we take those tapes to the record company. And granted, the tapes themselves are a uh um oh, you own them, all right, but the magic that is on those tapes. That fucking heart and soul that we put onto those tapes, that is ours and you don't own that. Now I need to take that magic and get it over the record company. And they're waiting for us, we were supposed to be there a half hour ago. We look like assholes, man.

Reed Rothchild

Dirk: Look, man, all we need is the tapes, all right?
Record Producer: No, you don't get the tapes until you've paid.
Dirk: In our situation, that doesn't make any fucking sense.
Reed Rothchild: Look, we can not pay for the tapes, unless we take the tapes to the record company, and get paid.
Dirk: Hello? Exactly.

I'm the ultimate Latin Lover. There ain't no Latin Lover like me.

Maurice

Floyd Gondolli: This here's the future. Videotape tells the truth.
Jack Horner: Wait a minute. You come into my house, my party, to tell me about the future? That the future is tape, videotape, and not film? That it's amateurs and not professionals? I'm a filmmaker, which is why I will never make a movie on tape.

Dirk: [as Brock] You still hungry?
Jessie St. Vincent: Starving.
[unzipping his pants]
Dirk: Then feast on that.

Young Stud: I, I think she did too much coke.
Colonel James: Oh you think so doctor?

Buck Swope: How's my little kung fu fighter?
Jessie St. Vincent: He's kicking ass inside my stomach.

I'm gettin' too fat for this s***.

Larry

Larry: [when Everette wakes up wearing a dress] Everette, that's another reason you shouldn't drink tequilla.
Everette: [sees the dress] Damn, this always happens when I eat the worm.

We are in the most dangerous city in the world, except maybe for Detroit.

Larry

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