Bruce giveth and Bruce taketh away. Don't like it? Megabyte me.Bruce
Hey, little anal-dwelling butt monkey. Time for you to go home, little buddy.Bruce
Grace: Debbie won the lottery.
Bruce: Oh, yeah? You're kidding.
Grace: But I guess so did 400,000 other people, so she only won, like, $17.
Grace: I've got a very rare blood type. I'm AB positive.
Bruce: Well I'm IB positive. I be positive they ain't touching me with no needle.
Bruce: Lord, feed the hungry, and bring peace to all of mankind. How's that?
God: Great... If you wanna be Miss America.
I am Bruce Almighty. My will be done.Bruce
Grace: Oh, God.
Bruce: You can call me Bruce.
I did the same thing to Gandhi, he didn't eat for three weeks.God
Grace: I've never seen the moon that big.
Bruce: We really shouldn't waste it.
God: Grace. You want her back?
Bruce: No. I want her to be happy, no matter what that means. I want her to find someone who will treat her with all the love she deserved from me. I want her to meet someone who will see her always as I do now, through Your eyes.
God: Now THAT'S a prayer.
Bruce: How do you make so many people love you without affecting Free Will?
God: [snorts] Heh, welcome to my world, son. If you come up with an answer to that one, let me know.