Her name's Naomi. That's "I moan" backwards.Van Wilder
I'd like you to meet Sherri and Terri. Two girls utterly infatuated with men who have larger than normal... medulla oblongata's.Van Wilder
I know Ms. Pac-Man is special. She's fun. She's cute. She swallows.Van Wilder
Crazy kids with their crazy VDs.Van Wilder
Don't be a fool and wrap your tool.Van Wilder
Congratulations Taj, your first blow job!Van Wilder
Van Wilder: Take your clothes off.
Gwen: I'm not taking off my clothes.
Van Wilder: Well it is the naked mile run, everybody else is in their birthday suit.
[a hairy naked guy runs by]
Van Wilder: Except that guy.
Sweet Joesph, my son's a fairy.Vance Wilder, Sr.
Taj: I would like very much to spend my remaining days here as your assistant.
Van Wilder: Okay, we're just going do a little word association. Say the first thing that comes to your mind. Milk.
Taj: Tit! Oh, mommy. Most Indians would say "cow" because they are sacred, but I hear "milk," I think giant jugs. You see, I cannot go home a virgin. I came here to study the great American art of muff diving. To smack clam, munch rug, dine at just one American pink taco stand! You know, I wanted to, how is it, park the porpoise. You know? I want to take it through the car wash, baby. And get it waxed. I want to wax it. Wax it! You know, and air dry. Air dry that shit, yeah! And I would like to be your assistant very much, Mr. Van Wilder.
The first day of spring semester. A time to say goodbye to the parents once again, and say hello to a few new student bodies.Van Wilder
Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere.Van Wilder
All you need is scented candles, massage oil, and Barry White. Write that down.Van Wilder