Seth: I drew dicks.
Evan: Like a man dick?
Seth: Yes, like a man dick.
Evan: That's supergay.
Just imagine if girls weren't weirded out by our boners and stuff, and just like wanted to see them. That's the world I one day want to live in.Evan
Prepare to get fucked by the long dick of the law.Officer Michaels
Nobody has gotten a B.J. in cargo shorts since Vietnam!Seth
You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.Seth
Fogell: What's it like to have a gun?
Officer Michaels: It's like having two cocks. If one of your cocks could kill someone.
Seth: Yeah, but it doesn't actually show dick going in which is a huge concern.
Evan: I didn't realize that.
Dude! That means that by some fate we were paired together and she thought of me. Thought of me enough to want me to be responsible for the entire funness of her party! She wants to fuck me! She wants my dick in and around her mouth!Seth
Calm down, calm down. She likes you. She wants to suck on your penis. That's a good thing.Evan
There is a very good reason for why my fake I.D. says I'm 25 and not 21. Everyday hundreds of kids go to the liquor store with fake I.D.s that say they're 21. Just how many 21-year-olds are there in this town? It's called strategy.Fogell
Jules: You scratch our back and we'll scratch yours.
Seth: Well, the funny thing about my back, is that it's located on my cock.
I'm sorry that I blocked your cock...Officer Slater