Mya: Babe I got us lattes... be right back
Alex: I'll be right here
Mya: Oh, you were an animal last night! So babe, was thinking we could go our first real date?
Alex: Yeah, babe, we should do that...
Mya: Alex... no he didn't... he took my coffee?

Michael: Just don't want a relationship based on lies...
Cedric: That's marriage.

Mya: I don't go out with guys who don't open the door for me.
Zeke: Really?
Mya: Really
Zeke: Seriously?
Mya: Yes. No he didn't...
Zeke: Gotcha...

  • Permalink: Gotcha...
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Cedric: Mike, how old is your mom?
Michael: What?
Cedric: I'm not saying it like that. No, I am. I am. It's like that. Ms. Loretta, I'm ready for the rest of the tour!

I want to be your husband and I want you to be my wife... so bad... so... Will you marry me?

Jeremy

What do you call the three rings of marriage? Engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

Cedric

[holding the shotgun at his hip, yelling at the target]
Ben: I said get down! You better get on the ground!!
[firing the shotgun sends him flying backwards, landing crumpled up in a bin]
James: Got a little bit of kick to it.
Ben: My stomach in my ass!
James: Oh yeah, you’re ready for the streets.

[large flaming debris slams into the back window of James' car]
Ben: It’s probably still driveable though, because it happened in the back.
[the car explodes]
Ben: You can’t drive it now.

Ben: What’s up little man.
[mocking him]
Basketball Kid: What’s up little man?
Ben: What you about 3’10″, 3’11″?
Basketball Kid: Yeah but you know what I’m gonna do, grow! What you gonna do, stretch?

James: Today is your training day. You got one day and one day only to show me what you got.
Ben: Bring it on.

Ben: You want the hammer?
Angela: I want the hammer.
Ben:Then go get the hammer.
[James, who was sitting in the dark, shines his flashlight on them, scaring them]
James: OK, enough of that nasty sh**.
Ben: Baby 9-1-1, call 9-1-1!!
[he pushes her, then trips and breaks a glass table]

[rehearsing his proposal lines to an older woman at the school]
Ben: To say I’m crazy about you doesn’t do you any justice. I adore you. I’m devoted to you. You would make me the luckiest man on the planet if you would be my wife.
Lunch Woman: Eh
Ben: What’s that mean, “eh”?

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