I don't know what you been feedin' him, but he is TOO DAMN BIG!

Detective James Carter

Chinese bad guy: [shouts at Carter in French]
Detective James Carter: [to Lee] What the hell is that?
Chief Inspector Lee: I think he's speaking French.
Detective James Carter: You Asian, stop humiliating yourself!

Genevieve: I'm a bad girl.
Detective James Carter: Hallelujah!

Genevieve: [while making out on the bed] I have never been with an American man before.
Detective James Carter: Neither have I!

Dojo Master: May I Help You?
Detective James Carter: I'll be asking the questions old man. Who are you?
Dojo Master: Yu.
Detective James Carter: No not me you!
Dojo Master: Yes I'm Yu!
Detective James Carter: Are you deaf?
Dojo Master: No Yu is blind!
Detective James Carter: I'm not blind, you blind
Dojo Master: That is what I just said.
Detective James Carter: You just said what?
Dojo Master: I did not say what, I said Yu.
Detective James Carter: That's what I'm asking you!
Dojo Master: And Yu is answering.
Detective James Carter: Shutup!
Detective James Carter: You!
Dojo Master: Yes?
Detective James Carter: Not You, Him! What's Your name?
Dojo Student: Mi.
Detective James Carter: Yes You!
Dojo Student: I'm Mi.
Dojo Master: He's Mi and I'm Yu.
Detective James Carter: And I'm about to whoop your old ass man because I am sick of playing games!

Detective James Carter: We need to get her to relax.
Chief Inspector Lee: Maybe we should put on a dirty movie.
Detective James Carter: Lee!
Chief Inspector Lee: Only $9.95.

How do you say surrender in Chinese?

Detective James Carter

Wolfgang von Wolfhaus: It appears it is time to initiate Operation Recipe Retrieve.
[all cheer]
Gunter: Is that the title we all agreed on? I kind of like Operation Stein Grab.
Rolf: Or what about Brauheist 2006?
Gunter: Oh, that's a good one.
Rolf: Ja, It's kind of spunky.
Gunter: Ja, Its fun

Back the fuck up Antonio! My dick!

Barry Badrinath

Hammacher: We are gonna wipe our schwanz on you.
Jan Wolfhouse: Bring it on meine bitch.

Let's get sour on some Krauts!

Gil

Steve's got the eye of the Jew.

Todd Wolfhouse

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