Oh that's rich! I've got a cowboy on one side and an Indian on the other! It's like the wild west!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

I once saw him fart a plum... I was plum surprised.

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

Barry Badrinath: I was in Thailand, playing Ping-Pong in Ding Dang. I was in a real high-stakes game in some opium den. Turned out the guys I was playing aren't the kind of guys who like to lose. After I beat them... they beat me. Worked me over pretty good. And this is hard to say... but they held me down... and they shoved a ping pong paddle up my ass. It's never been the same. I'm damaged goods.
Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Gosh, Barry, I'm so sorry. I don't know what I would do if somebody shoved a paddle handle up my ass.
Barry Badrinath: Wasn't the handle. I've been shitting pancakes ever since.

[to Germans during a beer pong match] Loser takes a paddle up the ass.

Todd Wolfhouse

Look at the size of that graduated cylinder!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein

Jan Wolfhouse: [after trying the beer] What's wrong?
Todd Wolfhouse: This means Great Gam Gam really was a whore.
Jan Wolfhouse: [thinks about it for a second, then runs off with his ears covererd] LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA LA...

Yeah, you Americans, why don't you go back to strip malls und drink your Zimas and Smirnoff Ices!

Otto

I'm just lookin' for a little slap and pickle!

Barry Badrinath

Barry Badrinath: [about Great Gam Gam] All I'm saying is... that whore thing could be a real possibility. Some of my best friends are whores.
Jan Wolfhouse: We know, Barry.

Barry Badrinath: [about the past] Come on, buddy. Can we bury the hatchet? I mean, we both know your wife just sat there taking it like a plastic fuck doll.
Todd Wolfhouse: I happened to MARRY that plastic fuck doll!

Steve "Fink" Finklestein: Come on, guys. I'm a respected member of the scientific community. I've been published in four journals.
Landfill: Which one? Toad Load Weekly?

Gunter: [about Johan] He then fled to America with his mother, a common Bavarian... what is word I'm looking for? WHORE!
Todd Wolfhouse: Gam Gam a whore? I think something must have been lost in the translation.
Gunter: HOOKER! PROSTITUTE! SLUT FOR MONEY!

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