I may not be a smart dog, but I know what roadkill is.

Slinky Dog

And this is the Buzz Lightyear aisle. Back in 1995, short-sighted retailers did not order enough dolls to meet demand.


Stinky Pete the Prospector: How long will it last, Woody? Do you really think Andy is going to take you to college, or on his honeymoon? Andy's growing up, and there's nothing you can do about it. It's your choice, Woody. You can go back, or you can stay with us and last forever. You'll be adored by children for generations.
Woody: [pets Bullseye the Horse, then suddenly decides to stay] Who am I to break up the Roundup Gang?

Banky Edwards: Where's Holden?
Hooper: I think he went to the bathroom.
Banky Edwards: That guy's got a bladder like an infant.
Hooper: That's funny. He says you're hung like an infant.
Banky Edwards: Does his mother tell him everything?

It seems like Banky has a problem with all things not hetero.


Holden: They used you!
Alyssa: No! I used them! You don't think I would've let it happen if I hadn't wanted to? Do you? I was an experimental girl for Christ sake! Maybe you knew from early on your track was from point A to be, but unlike you I was not given a fucking map at birth, so I tried it all! That is until we, you and I, got together and suddenly I was sated!

Holden McNeil: We've got to beat traffic.
Banky Edwards: What traffic? It's 1:30 in the morning!
Holden McNeil: Yeah, and rush hour starts in six hours. Let's go.

Fan: I love these guys! You know what? they're like Bill and Ted meet... Cheech and Chong!
Holden McNeil: Yeah... I kinda like to think of them as Rosencrantz and Guildenstern meet Vladamir and Estragon.
Fan: Yes! ... Who?

Collector: You're mucking with a G, you fuckin' tracer.
Banky Edwards: I'll trace a chalk line around your dead fucking body, you fuck!

Since most of these people are cheering for the home team, I'm going to root for the visitors. I'm a big visitors fan. Especially the kind that make coffee in the morning before they leave!


I'm telling you, that chick is probably a bigger germ farm than that monkey in Outbreak.

Banky Edwards

Silent Bob: [to Holden] So there's me an' Amy, and we're all inseparable, right? Just big time in love. And then about four months in, I ask about the ex-boyfriend. Dumb move, I know, but you know how it is - you don't really want to know, but you just have to... stupid guy bullshit. Anyway she starts telling me all about him - how they dated for years, lived together, her mother likes me better, blah, blah, blah - and I'm okay. But then she tells me that a couple times, he brought other people to bed with them - ménage a tois, I believe it's called. Now this just blows my mind. I mean, I'm not used to that sort of thing, right? I was raised Catholic.
Jay: Saint Shithead.

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