I love you. And not, not in a friendly way, although I think we're great friends. And not in a misplaced affection, puppy-dog way, although I'm sure that's what you'll call it. I love you. Very, very simple, very truly. You are the epitome of everything I have ever looked for in another human being. And I know that you think of me as just a friend, and crossing that line is the furthest thing from an option you would ever consider. But I had to say it. I just, I can't take this anymore. I can't stand next to you without wanting to hold you. I can't, I can't look into your eyes without feeling that, that longing you only read about in trashy romance novels. I can't talk to you without wanting to express my love for everything you are. And I know this will probably queer our friendship - no pun intended - but I had to say it, because I've never felt this way before, and I don't care. I like who I am because of it. And if bringing this to light means we can't hang out anymore, then that hurts me. But God, I just, I couldn't allow another day to go by without just getting it out there, regardless of the outcome, which by the look on your face is to be the inevitable shoot-down. And, you know, I'll accept that. But I know... I know that some part of you is hesitating for a moment, and if there is a moment of hesitation, then that means you feel something too. All I ask, please, is that you just, you just not dismiss that - and try to dwell in it for just ten seconds. Alyssa, there isn't another soul on this fucking planet who has ever made me half the person I am when I'm with you, and I would risk this friendship for the chance to take it to the next plateau. Because it is there between you and me. You can't deny that. Even if, you know, even if we never talk again after tonight, please know that I'm forever changed because of who you are and what you've meant to me, which - while I do appreciate it - I'd never need a painting of birds bought at a diner to remind me of.


Alyssa: Why are we stopping?
Holden: Because I can't take this.
Alyssa: Can't take what?
Holden: I love you.
Alyssa: You love me?

Alyssa: So, you've never been curious about men?
Holden: Curious about men? Well, I always wondered why my father watched Hee Haw.

Jedi bitch!


Jay: So why the long face, Horse? Banky on the rag?
Holden: I'm just, ahh... just havin' a little girl trouble.
Jay: Bitch pressin' charges? I get that a lot.

Are you an authorized deal maker in this establishment? Do you have the power to negotiate?


[to Alyssa] Since you like chicks, right, do you just look at yourself naked in the mirror all the time?

Banky Edwards

Alyssa: Let me ask you something. Can men fuck each other?
Banky Edwards: What, are you asking for my permission?
Alyssa: In your estimation.
Banky Edwards: Yeah, sure.
Alyssa: So for you, to fuck means to penetrate. You're used to the more traditional definition. You, inside some girl you duped, jackhammering away, not noticing the bored look in her eyes.
Banky Edwards: Hey, I always notice the bored look in their eyes.

One minute and five seconds; you are such my bitch.


Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon. Did you know I always wanted to be a dancer in Vegas?

Silent Bob

Holden: So, uh, what do you wanna do tonight?
Banky Edwards: I dunno. Get a pizza, watch "Degrassi Jr. High."
Holden: You got a weird thing for Canadian melodrama.
Banky Edwards: I got a weird thing for girls who say, "Aboot."

I feel a hate crime coming on.

Banky Edwards

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