Murray: Where you been all weekend? What's up? You been jeepin' behind my back?
Dionne: Jeepin'? Jeepin'? No. But, speaking of vehicular sex, perhaps you can explain how this cheap K-Mart hair extension got into the backseat of your car.
Murray: I don't know where that came from. That looks like one of your little stringy somethin' or an others you got over here.
Dionne: I do not wear polyester hair, okay? Unlike some people I know like Shawana.
Cher: Dee, I'm outty.
Dionne: Bye.
Murray: Why do you got to go there? Why do you gotta go there? Is it that time of the month again?

Mel: Which reminds me, where's your report card?
Cher: It's not ready yet.
Mel: What do you mean, "it's not ready yet?"
Cher: Well, some teachers are trying to low-ball me, Daddy. And I know how you say, "Never accept a first offer", so I figure these grades are just a jumping off point to start negotiations.

Cher: Lucy, the fire department called again. They said we need to clear out that bush. You said you'd get Jose to do it.
Lucy: He your gardener, I don't know why you no tell him.
Cher: Lucy, you know I don't speak Mexican.

Cher: "Second notice on an outstanding ticket." I don't remember getting a first notice.
Mel: The TICKET is the first notice.

I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh!


So okay, I don't want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don't get how guys dress today. I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair - ew - and cover it up with a backwards cap and like, we're expected to swoon? I don't think so.

Cher Horowitz

It's like that book I read in the 9th grade that said "'tis a far far better thing doing stuff for other people."


Tai: Hey, did you see that?
Cher: Ugh. Skateboards. That's like so five years ago.

Looks like we're gonna have to make a cameo at the Val party.


Josh: You know maybe Marky Mark wants to use his popularity for a good cause, make a contribution. In case you've never heard of that, a contribution is...
Cher: Excuse me, but I have donated many expensive Italian outfits to Lucy, and as soon I get my license, I fully intend to brake for animals, and I have contributed many hours to helping two lonely teachers find romance.
Josh: Which I'll bet serves your interests more than theirs. You know, If I ever saw you do anything that wasn't ninety percent selfish, I'd die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that'd be reason enough for me.

Cher: If it's a concussion, you have to keep her conscious, okay? Ask her questions.
Elton: What's seven times seven?
Cher: Stuff she knows.

[about keeping her virginity] You see how picky I am about my shoes ... and they only go on my feet!


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