David Dunn: You should never do anything like this. You know that, right?
Joseph Dunn: Yeah.
David Dunn: What should you do if something bad happens?
Joseph Dunn: Get Mom.

Joseph Dunn: Do you think you could beat up Bruce Lee?
David Dunn: No.
Joseph Dunn: I mean, if you knew karate?
David Dunn: Nope.
Joseph Dunn: What if he wasn't allowed to kick, and you were really mad at him?
David Dunn: No, Joseph.

I'm just going to shoot you once!

Joseph Dunn

David Dunn: Audrey, do you remember me ever getting sick? In the three years we lived in this house? In the old apartment? Before Joseph was born? Before we ever got married?
Audrey Dunn: I... I can't remember.
David Dunn: Don't you think that's kind of weird, not remembering one cold or a fever or a sore throat? What do you think it means?
Audrey Dunn: Um... I think it means probably too tired to remember.

David Dunn: I wanted to ask you a question. It's gonna sound a little strange, just think about it for a second, okay?
Audrey Dunn: Okay.
David Dunn: When's the last time I was sick? Do you remember?
Audrey Dunn: Um, I don't know. It's been a while.
David Dunn: I haven't been sick this year, I know that.
Audrey Dunn: Okay.
David Dunn: Do you remember me getting sick?
Audrey Dunn: Um... not a specific day. What - what's this about?

It appears that your baby has sustained some fractures while inside your uterus... his arms and his legs are broken.

Dr. Mathison

Now place the ring on his hand. A ring is like a circle, it goes on forever. It's not like a triangle, triangle have three sides, it's like a circle.

Japanese Priest

Yeah, yeah! Gay love!

Kevin McDonough

Let's go junior high on them.

Chuck Levine

Chuck Levine: Would you wear a yarmulke? It would make my mother proud.
Larry Valentine: I'm not wearing a yarmulke. Come on.
Chuck Levine: I'm Jewish. I don't want to piss my mother off.
Larry Valentine: Yeah? Well, I'm Catholic. I don't want to piss Mel Gibson off.

The only thing I'm doing with my eyes is putting a bag over your head, you toothless moron!

Chuck Levine

Chuck Levine: What do you got?
Larry Valentine: Maxi Pads.
Chuck Levine: What, do we have vaginas now? Put it back!

FREE Movie Newsletter