Veronica Corningstone: If you touch Ron, I will burn your face with a curling iron.
Ron Burgundy: Meow!

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Brick Tamland: Let's take a look at the big map. Where’s the map?
Ron Burgundy: Take a look at the monitor.
Brick Tamland: Oh god, Ron, where's my legs? I don't have any legs, Ron. Ahhh! In 93, 93…

Champ Kind: That's Jack Kind. Look at him. He's a prince.
Ron Burgundy: He's not that great.
Jack Lime: What'd you say?
Brick Tamland: [yelling] He said you're not that great!
Ron Burgundy: Brick!

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Ron Burgundy: Linda Jackson, how are you my friend?
[Shakes hand of Linda's male assistant]
GNN Anchor: This is Linda.
Ron Burgundy: Oh, black… Black
Brian Fantana: Ron!
Ron Burgundy: Black!

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I can always guess how many jelly beans are in a jelly bean jar, even if I’m wrong.

Brick Tamland

Who the hell is Julius Ceasar? You know I don't follow the NBA!

Ron Burgundy

Ed Harken: We all loved Brick.
Ron Burgundy: Sweet Brick
Ed Harken: I'm told the next speaker was very close to him.
Brick Tamland: Why?! Why did you take him from us?!
Ron Burgundy: Brick, you're not dead.
Brick Tamland: I'm alive?
Ron, Champ and Brian: Yes
Brick Tamland: I'm alive!

By the hymen of Olivia Newton-John!

Ron Burgundy

Jack Lime: Welcome to the station. Just wondering what time you feed that mustache.
Ron Burgundy: Maybe I’ll feed it a ham sandwich.
Jack Lime: Hey don't make jokes off my jokes!

Ron Burgundy: I don't read Jet magazine or uh Jheri Curl Daily.
Linda Jackson: What are you doing?!
Ron Burgundy: I’m breaking down the barriers of race by assimilation and on that note, which one of you convicts with the longest record can pass me the mash potatoes?

Ron Burgundy: You're not black or Asian.
GNN Reporter: I'm gay.
Champ Kind: Do you sleep in a coffin?
GNN Reporter: No, that’s vampires.
Brian Fantana: Are you allowed to be out in the sun?
GNN Reporter: Those are also vampires.
Brick Tamland: Are you a vampire?

Freddie Shapp: We're starting a 24-hour news channel and we want you.
Ron Burgundy: I'm going to do the thing that god put Ron Burgundy on this earth to do, have salon-quality hair and read the news.

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