That's how they get you. They're under the goddamn ground!

Valentine McKee

Rhonda LeBeck: They only respond to vibration, right? Couldn't we... distract them somehow?
Valentine McKee: Yeah, something to keep 'em busy, like a... like a decoy!
Earl Bassett: Hey Melvin... wanna make a buck?

Valentine McKee: We can't hold still long! These things are damn smart! They're getting smarter by the minute!
Burt Gummer: That's fine! [holds up a stick of dynamite] We got some new things to teach 'em!

Valentine McKee: Come on you two, let's go, we're headed for the mountains!
Burt Gummer: [Grabs a bag of weapons] If that's how we're doin it, we're going prepared!

No tracks, no sign, no spoor... you'd think after eating all those sheep they'd have to take a dump someplace ...

Burt Gummer

Well, there sure as hell ain't nothing to stop us now... everybody we know between here and Bixbe's already dead.

Earl Bassett

Earl Bassett: No way those things can outrun these horses!
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, for all you know, they can fly.


Valentine McKee

Valentine McKee: STAMPEDE! Stampede, Earl! Get out of the way, get out of the way!
Earl Bassett: You dumb shit. I was in a stampede once. Five hundred head, all hell-bent for the horizon.
Valentine McKee: Now, exactly how many cattle are required for a stampede, Earl? Is it three or more? Is there a minimum to 'pede?
Earl Bassett: I wish they'd stampede up your ass.

Earl Bassett: Dammit, Valentine! You never go for any girl unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.
Valentine McKee: Well, sure.
Earl Bassett: Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end! Like that Bobbie Lynn Dexter.
Valentine McKee: Tammy Lynn Baxter!
Earl Bassett: Doesn't matter. They're all the same: dead weight. "Ooh, I broke a nail!" Ugh! Makes my skin crawl.
Valentine McKee: Yeah, well, I'm a victim of circumstance.
Earl Bassett: I thought you called it your pecker.

Food for five years, a thousand gallons of gas, air filtration, water filtration, Geiger counter. Bomb shelter! Underground... God damn monsters.

Burt Gummer

[to the dead Graboid, which he shot several thousand times] Guess you broke into the wrong God damn rec room, didn't ya!

Burt Gummer

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