[to Randy] Ever since my twelfth, I've been looking forward to my sweet sixteen.


[to Sam and Long Duk Dong] Wait a minute. I have a wonderful idea! Would you like to go to the dance with Sam?

Dorothy Baker

[Repeated Line] Take those ridiculous things off!

The Geek

I want a serious girlfriend. Somebody I can love, that's gonna love me back. Is that psycho?


I thought she hated my guts.


What the hell are you bitchin' about? I gotta sleep under some Chinaman named after a duck's dork.

Mike Baker

What's happenin', hot stuff?

Long Duk Dong

Ohhh, sexy girlfriend!... Bonzai!

Long Duk Dong

You know everyone in this family has gone total outer limits.


I can't believe this. They fucking forgot my birthday.


[to Samantha] I don't think I'll be able to sleep if I don't feel this little talk has helped ya. So would ya be a sport and lie to me?

Jim Baker

What was he wearing? Well, uh, let's see, he was wearing a red argyle sweater, and tan trousers, and red shoes... Hmm? No, he's not retarded.


FREE Movie Newsletter