Have you been shootin' up Rogaine?

Rita

God: I now issue a new commandment: Thou shalt do the dance.

Why do you sound like Evan but look like a Bee Gee?

Rita

[to Evan] I love you!... I mean, I think we should hang out socially... I have a new ping pong table.

Eugene

I can't even get my cat to use the litter box.

Rita

Mike Enslin: Why don't you just kill me?
Room 1408: Because everyone of our guests has free will, Mr. Enslin.

Look, I just don't want to clean up the mess.

Gerald Olin

[preparing a flaming whiskey bottle] "All right, if that's the way it has to be." [throws bottle against the wall, room goes up in flames] "GO TO HELL!"

Mike Enslin

Let's "Encyclopedia Brown" this shit.

Mike Enslin

[yelling] I give room 1408 at the Dolphin Hotel TEN SKULLS!

Mike Enslin

Gerald Olin: You do drink, don't you?
Mike Enslin: I did say I was an author.

Nobody has ever lasted more than an hour in that room.

Gerald Olin

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