I missed the whole Dragon Tales Era?

Michael Newman

Michael Newman: You sell any universal remotes here?
Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: I dunno. I don't really work here; I'm just waiting for my friends.
Michael Newman: Really?
Bed, Bath & Beyond Guy: No. I actually don't have any friends. Will you be my friend?

Michael Newman: [looking in a mirror] You look a little pale there, pal. Let me fix that.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to yellow] You're all yellow from the scurvy. Arr, captain.
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to green] Grr... Don't get the Hulk angry. Raaaahrrr!
Michael Newman: [Changes his skin color to purple] Oh, there's Barney.
[starts to sing]
Michael Newman: I love you, you love me, the jogger has giant boobies.

It's all just... cornflakes.


Michael Newman: [reading off letter] Like I Said, "Good Guys Need A Break". I know you'll do the right thing this time. Love Morty. P.S. Your Wife's Rockin' Body Still Drives Me Crazy.
Michael Newman: Okay, Morty.
[Throws the universal remote into the bin]

I know it's deviant... but it's kinda turning me on.
[kisses Michael again]

Donna Newman

Donna Newman: Will you still love me in the morning?
Michael Newman: Forever and ever, babe

He's always chasing the pot of gold, but when he gets there, at the end of the day, it's just corn flakes.


[scene after the dog humps toy duck] I have to sew the duck's head back on... and fix his butthole.

Donna Newman

Michael Newman: My schmeckel got bigger now that I'm older, just so you guys know that.
Trudy: It couldn't have gotten any smaller.
Ted: [Laughing] It looked like a litttle Tic Tac.
Michael Newman: Yeah, come, here, I'll freshen your breath.

So, Jake, you're out, you're free, you're rehabilitated. What's next? What's happenin'? What you gonna do? You got the money you owe us, motherfucker?

Willie 'Too Big' Hall

Curtis: Do you guys know 'Minnie the Moocher'?
Murph: I once knew a hooker named Minnie Mazola!

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