Emmett: You fall asleep during the West Wing.
Elle: Yeah, but have you seen what they're wearing?

I'm takin' the dog... dumbass!

Paulette

But if I'm going to have my own law firm by the time I'm 30, I need a boyfriend who's not such a complete bonehead.

Elle

Brooke: I was getting... lipo.
Elle: What?
Brooke: LIPOSUCTION!

I would rather go to jail than lose my reputation.

Brooke

Brooke: Are you one of my lawyers?
Elle: Sort of.
Brooke: Well thank God one of you has a brain.

Elle: For that matter, any masturbatory emissions could be termed reckless abandonment.
Professor Callahan: You've just won your case.

Geez! Could I be any more goddamn spastic?

Paulette

Elle: I promised her, and I can't break the bonds of sisterhood.
Professor Callahan: Screw sisterhood! This is a murder investigation! Not some scandal at the sorority house!

Elle: Is that low-viscosity rayon? With a half-loop top stitching on the hem?
Boutique Saleswoman: Of course. It's one of a kind.
Elle: It's impossible to use a half-loop stitching on low-viscosity rayon. It would snag the fabric. And you didn't just get it in - I saw it in the June Vogue a year ago. So if you're trying to sell it to me for full price, you've picked the wrong girl.

Warner Huntington III: Excuse me, I'm sorry... are you here to see me?
Elle: No, silly. I go here!

Elle: That's great, Paulette. Is that the only interaction you two have ever had?
Paulette: No! Sometimes I say "okay" instead of "fine."

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