Curls weren't a good look for her. She didn't have your bone structure.


So what's this Vivian got that you don't have? Three tits?


Serena: Elle, we came to see your trial and look! There's like a judge and everything... and jury people.
The Honorable Marina R. Bickford

Elle: Warner, what kind of shoes are these?
Warner Huntington III: Umm... black ones.

Warner Huntington III: Hey well don't you look like a walking felony.
Elle: Thanks, you're so sweet.

Margot: Here, you're gonna need this.
Elle: Your scrunchie?
Margot: My LUCKY scrunchie. It helped me pass Spanish.
Serena: You passed Spanish because you gave Professor Montoya a lap dance after the final.
Margot: Yeah... Luckily!

Elle: Don't ask.
Emmett: Wasn't gonna.

Elle: So, if you don't know an answer they're just gonna kick you out.
Emmett: So you have Stromwell, huh?
Elle: Yes. Did she do that to you too?
Emmett: No, but she did make me cry once... not in class I waited until I got back to my room, but yeah she'll kick you right in the balls, or wherever.

All people see when they look at me is blonde hair and big boobs.


Emmett: Did you take Mrs. Windham on a date?
Enrique Salvatore: Yes.
Emmett: Where?
Enrique Salvatore: A restaurant in Concord, where no one could recognize us.
Emmett: How long have you been sleeping with Mrs. Windham?
Enrique Salvatore: Three months.
Emmett: And your boyfriend's name is...
Enrique Salvatore: Chuck.
Emmett: Right.
Enrique Salvatore: Pardon me, pardon me! I thought you said friend; Chuck is just a friend!

Warner Huntington III: How was your first class?
Elle: Oh, it was okay, except for this horrible preppy girl who tried to make me look bad in front of the professor, but no biggie.

Elle: It has come to my attention that the maintenance staff is switching our toilet paper from Charmin... to generic. All those opposed to chafing, please say "Aye."
Entire Sorority Group: Aye!

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