Elle's Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic" contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I'm going to get the love of my life back.
Elle's Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don't need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

Elle: I don't need back-ups. I'm going to Harvard.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: Well then, you'll need excellent recommendations from your professors.
Elle: Okay.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: And a heck of an admissions essay.
Elle: Right.
C.U.L.A. Advisor: And at least a 175 on your LSATs.
Elle: I once had to judge a tighty-whitey contest for Lambda Kappa Pi. Trust me, I can handle anything.

Elle: I'm reading about the LSAT's
Serena: My cousin had that once. Apparently you get a really bad rash on your...

There's nothing I love better than a dumb blonde with Daddy's plastic.

Boutique Saleswoman

Hi. I'm Elle Woods and this is Bruiser Woods. We're both Gemini vegetarians.

Elle

Vivian: Nice outfit.
Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

I just don't think that Brooke could've done this. Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people just don't shoot their husbands, they just don't.

Elle

The rules of hair care are simple and finite. Any Cosmo girl would have known.

Elle

And last week I saw Cameron Diaz at Fred Segal, and I talked her out of buying this truly heinous angora sweater. Whoever said orange was the new pink was seriously disturbed.

Elle

[about the Heir of Slytherin]
Hermione: I wonder who it could be?
Ron: [sarcastic puzzlement] Let's think... who do we know that thinks all Muggle-borns are scum?
Hermione: If you're talking about Malfoy...
Ron: Of course, Malfoy. You heard what he said. "You'll be next, Mudblood"!

Ron: Have you spoken to Hermione?
Harry: She should be out of hospital in a few days... when she stops coughing up fur balls.

Professor Snape: You were seen! By no less than seven Muggles! Do you have any idea how serious this is? You have risked the exposure of our world! Not to mention the damage you inflicted on Whomping Willow, that's been on these grounds since before you were born!
Ron: Honestly, Professor Snape, I think it did more damage to us.
Professor Snape: Silence! I assure you that were you in Slytherin and your fate rested with me, the both of you would be on the train home TONIGHT!

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