Your face looks like Robin Williams' knuckles.

Ben Stone

Tell him not to jerk off with a noose around his neck - it's dangerous.


Fuck you hormones!

Ben Stone

Now that's how you get pink eye.

Ben Stone

Martin: I think he's using the dice move a bit too much.
Jay: I think that's pretty much all he's got.

[during earthquake] FUCK ME!

Ben Stone
  • Permalink: FUCK ME!
  • Added:

You look like Babe Ruth's gay brother... Gabe Ruth.


Alison Scott: I'm pregnant.
Ben Stone: Fuck off!
Alison Scott: What?
Ben Stone: What?

Well, I'm gonna go make a protein shake.


[to Alison] Are you the lady who doesn't realize she's pregnant until she's sitting on the toilet and the kid pops out?


[to Ben and Pete at dinner] Hey, I have a really good idea. Why don't the two of you get into your time machine, go back in time and fuck each other.


Debbie: I gotta go, Sadie might have the chicken pox.
Jason: I had the chicken pox three times. I have no immunity to it.
Ben Stone: We don't have the heart to tell him it's herpes.

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