Alison Scott: Why don't you go fuck your fucking Bong?
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too!
Pete: You mean like Mr. Skin?
Ben Stone: Who's Mr. Skin?
Pete: You know, Mr. Skin.
Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.
Ben Stone: Vrrooooom!
[quoting Back to the Future] Where we're going we don't need roads.Pete
Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!
Jonah: What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' loose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!
She-lika-da-way your dick taste!Jonah
I'm going to murder-ball you!Jonah
[to Alison] I'm sorry I'm sweating on you...Ben Stone
He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.Debbie
Ben Stone: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Alison Scott: And a little bit Spanish?
Ben Stone: Yeah, I'm not very good with impressions.
Have you ever watched pornographic videos?Jack Byrnes
Jack Byrnes: If I set you up, do you think you can spike it, Focker?
Greg Focker: Well, I would have to get pretty high.
Jack Byrnes: I bet you would, Panama Red.