Alison Scott: Why don't you go fuck your fucking Bong?
Ben Stone: I will! I'll do it doggy style, too!

Pete: You mean like Mr. Skin?
Ben Stone: Who's Mr. Skin?
Pete: You know, Mr. Skin.

Pete: I'm gonna throw you in my DeLorean and gun it to 88.
Ben Stone: Vrrooooom!

[quoting Back to the Future] Where we're going we don't need roads.

Pete

Jay: Man, my balls are shaved, my pubes are trimmed, I'm ready to fuckin' rock this shit!
Jonah: What the fuck, man? If I go in there and see fuckin' pubes sprinkled on the toilet seat, I'm gonna fuckin' loose my mind! Last time I went to the bathroom, Jay, I took a shit and my shit looked like a fuckin' stuffed animal!

She-lika-da-way your dick taste!

Jonah

I'm going to murder-ball you!

Jonah

[to Alison] I'm sorry I'm sweating on you...

Ben Stone

He's playing fetch... with my kids... he's treating my kids like they're dogs.

Debbie

Ben Stone: Our baby is going to be French Canadian.
Alison Scott: And a little bit Spanish?
Ben Stone: Yeah, I'm not very good with impressions.

Have you ever watched pornographic videos?

Jack Byrnes

Jack Byrnes: If I set you up, do you think you can spike it, Focker?
Greg Focker: Well, I would have to get pretty high.
Jack Byrnes: I bet you would, Panama Red.

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