Ben: Hey, what's wrong?
Andie: Nothing. It's beautiful.
Ben: Thank you.
Andie: You're beautiful. The game, the whole thing. It's just... I wish I ate meat. Mary had a little lamb, little lamb. You have to take it away before I gag.

I don't think I can be with someone who doesn't like animals and thinks I'm a mental person


I have to crack this guy. I mean this is Defcon 5, and I have to do something truly appalling. It's not funny.


Ben: You can have a lucky day, sure, but you can't have a lucky career. It's a little like math. It's orderly. Win or lose, it's fair. It all adds up. It's, like, not as confusing or as ambiguous as, uh...
Lindsey Meeks: Life?
Ben: Yeah. It's... it's safe.

Ben: Look who made the trip with me.
Andie: It's our love fern! Oh, Bennie-boo-boo, boo-boo.

Drunk and tone-deaf. Never a good combination.


Ben: You know what's really great about baseball?
Lindsey Meeks: Hmm?
Ben: You can't fake it. You know, anything else in life you don't have to be great in. Business, music, art. I mean you can get lucky.
Lindsey Meeks: Really?
Ben: Yeah, you can fool everyone for awhile, you know? It's like... not... not baseball. You either hit a curveball or you can't. That's the way it works.

Ben: Look, look, look, wait a minute. The one night we even thought about having sex, all right, she up and decides she's going to nickname my...
Michelle Rubin: Penis?
Ben: Yeah. "Princess Sophia." You want to talk about shooting a man's horse? Whop! Come on!

You see, the key to this game is being able to read people.


Andie: Hey, listen, Sparky. I have a masters in journalism from Columbia, my boss loves me, and if I do it her way for a while, I can write about whatever I want.
Ben: Like, shoes?

[to his friends on megaphone] Quick break, everybody. There's some nice Pakistani cold cuts there, courtesy of Mrs. Segal.


Al Waterman, have a sponge.


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