Captain Diel: Every now and then we have to let the general public know that we can still blow shit up.
Carter: You're God damn right

Carter: You don't know nothing about no War.
Lee: Everybody knows War.
[singing]
Lee: War! Huh! Yeah! What is it good for? Absolutely nothing, sing it again, you all!
Carter: It ain't 'you all', it's "y'all"!
Lee: Yaw.
Carter: Y'all!
Lee: Yaw!
Carter: Man you sound like a Karate movie, y'all!
Lee: Yoll.

Some people just don't understand boundaries.

Puss in Boots

[sees Shrek naked] Aahh! You know, you really need to get yourself a pair of jammies!

Donkey

Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! Where is Shrek?
Pinocchio: Well, uh, I don't know where he's not.
Prince Charming: You don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: On the contrary.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that I undeniably...
Prince Charming: Stop It!
Pinocchio: Do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be. If that indeed wasn't where he isn't!

Donkey: [after becoming Puss-in-Boots] I've been abra-cadabra'd into a Fancy Feasting, second-rate sidekick!
Shrek: Donkey...
Donkey: I feel all exposed and nasty!

Yippie-ka-yay, motherfucker!

John McClane

John McClane: You think we should call a fire truck?
Zeus: Fuck 'em, just let 'em cook!

John McClane: Oh shit.
Zeus: What? WHAT?
John McClane: I left Holly hanging on the phone.
Zeus: Ah, call her back.
John McClane: Uhh, she's going to be pissed.
Zeus: She'll get over it.
John McClane: I don't know, Zeus. Like I said, she's a very stubborn woman.
Zeus: She'd have to be to stay married to you.

Mathias Targo: I see you all day, little man, policeman... and you don't go away.
John McClane: I'm like that fucking Energizer bunny.

Zeus: Why do you keep calling me 'Jesus'? Do I look Puerto Rican to you?
John McClane: Guy back there called you 'Jesus'.
Zeus: He didn't say 'Jesus'. He said, "Hey, Zeus!" My name is Zeus.
John McClane: Zeus?
Zeus: Yeah, Zeus. As in father of Apollo? Mt. Olympus? Don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass? Zeus! You got a problem with that?

[addressing his troops] And remember. This was all made possible thanks to the g-g-g-g-gullibility of the New York Police Department!

Simon

FREE Movie Newsletter