Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, "Give me your pies... or I'll cave your head in."

Simon

John McClane: You can't do it that way you dumb, motherfucking...
Zeus: Say it! Say it!
John McClane: Say what?
Zeus: You were going to call me a nigger, weren't you?
John McClane: No I wasn't!
Zeus: Yes you were! What were you gonna call me?
John McClane: Asshole! How's that, asshole!

John McClane: You know this guy Simon we're talking to?
Zeus: Yeah.
John McClane: I threw his little brother off the 32nd floor of Nakatomi Towers out in L.A. I guess he's a little pissed at me.
Zeus: You mean to tell me that I'm caught up in all this shit because some white cop threw some white asshole's brother off a roof?

Dr. Schiller: They want you to know who's doing it to you, so this name Simon is probably not an alias. It's probably Simon or some variation.
Joe Lambert: [reading rap sheet] Simon, Robert E. Convicted of kidnapping and extortion, 10-15. Served 7 years on good behavior. Released on parole two months ago.
John McClane: Bob Simon is a bankrupt businessman who kidnapped his partner's daughter. He's a fuck-up, not a psycho. The guy we're looking for is nuts.

Simon: I want you and the Samaritan at the corner of 72nd and Broadway in 15 minutes. You understand?
John McClane: Yeah, I understand. I understand that you're a fucking wacko who likes to play kids' games.
Simon: Hahdly.
John McClane: [imitating Simon] Hahdly? Well, what have you got against me anyway? What did I bring you in for? Shoplifting? Purse-snatching?

John McClane: Hey, partner!
Zeus: I ain't your partner. I ain't your neighbor, your brother, or your friend. I'm your total stranger.

I'm a soldier, not a monster. Though I sometimes work for monsters.

Simon

Zeus: What the fuck are you doin'?
John McClane: Interrogatin' him.
Zeus: Well, what's he gonna tell you, "I'm dead"?
John McClane: Well, I ain't gonna know 'til I ask him, am I?

John McClane: They told me to stay on the line.
Simon: Ha! God I love this country!
John McClane: You know, your brother was an asshole.
Simon: Yeah, he was an asshole. You got his number.

Zeus: [picks up the phone] I'm here.
Simon: And McClane?
Zeus: He's on his way. He's a little slow. He's out of shape.
Simon: The rules applied to the both of you. I'm afraid this is non-compliance. Goodbye.
Zeus: [to cops] Trust me guys. Duck.

Zeus: I have to answer... that phone.
Transit cop: Get 'em up!
Zeus: Look, if you have to shoot me, then you go ahead and you shoot me! But I have to answer this phone, all right?

Zeus: Excuse me, I need to use that phone.
Businessman: Use the other one.
Zeus: Sir, please. I need to use that phone.
Businessman: Hey, listen, bro, I was here first.
Zeus: Bro? Get away from the goddamn phone!

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