Leonard Shelby: I take it I've told you about my condition.
Teddy: Only every time I see ya.

You're not a killer. That's why you're so good at it.

Teddy

Teddy: Was he scared?
Leonard Shelby: Yeah, I think it was your sinister moustache.

Is that what your little note says? It must be hard living your life off a couple of scraps of paper. You mix your laundry list with your grocery list you'll end up eating your underwear for breakfast.

Natalie

Burt Hadley: What's it like?
Leonard Shelby: It's like waking. Like you just woke up.
Burt Hadley: That must suck.

You sad, sad freak. I can say whatever the fuck I want, and you won't remember. We'll still be best friends. Or maybe even lovers.

Natalie

You know what? I think I'm gonna use you. I'm telling you now because I'll enjoy it so much more if I know that you could stop me if you weren't such a fucking freak!

Natalie

Sammy had no drive, no reason to make it work. Me? Yeah, I got a reason.

Leonard Shelby

Sammy Jankis wrote himself endless notes. But he'd get mixed up. I've got a more graceful solution to the memory problem. I'm disciplined and organized. I use habit and routine to make my life possible. Sammy had no drive. No reason to make it work.

Leonard Shelby

Leonard Shelby: I don't think they'd let someone like me carry a gun.
Teddy: I fucking hope not.

Leonard Shelby: These tracks are just a few days old.
Teddy: What are you, Pocahontas?

You know, I've had more rewarding friendships than this one. Although I do get to keep telling the same jokes.

Teddy

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