Merrill: Hey, you guys okay?
Morgan: Some guy had a sign saying it was the end of the world.
Merrill: Don't worry.
Morgan: You won't let anything happen to us, right?
Merrill: No way.
Morgan: I wish you were my dad.
Merrill: What did you say? Don't you ever say anything like that again. Ever!

Morgan: [to Bo] Everything people have written about in science books is going to change...
Off-Screen TV Anchor: [seconds later] Everything they wrote in science books is about to change.
Morgan: I told you.

Morgan: We have to tape this.
Bo: My ballet recital!
Morgan: Listen, Bo. This is very important. Everything people have written about in science books is going to change. The history of the world's future is on the TV right now. We need to record this so you can show *your* children this tape and say *you* were there. For your children, Bo.
Bo: My ballet recital!

The nerds were right.


Morgan, after you were born, the doctor gave you to your mother. When she first looked at you, you just stared right back. You both just stared at each other for longest time, and you didn't even cry.

Graham Hess

[giving the dog water]
Bo: It tastes funny.
Morgan: It does not. It's just tap water. Besides, he licks his butt every day, I don't think he'll mind.

Move, children. Vamanos.


It's happening.

Graham Hess

Graham Hess: I cursed.
Merrill: I heard.

Merrill: On the count of three. One...
Graham Hess: All right.
Merrill: two... three!
Graham Hess: Ahh! I'm insane with anger!
Merrill: We're gonna beat your ass bitch! We're gonna tear your head off!
Graham Hess: I'm losing my mind! It's time for an ass-whupping!

Graham Hess: You want me to curse?
Merrill: You don't mean it. It's just for show. What?
Graham Hess: Well, it won't be convincing. It doesn't sound natural when I curse.
Merrill: Just make noises, then.
Graham Hess: Explain "noises".
Merrill: Are you gonna do this or what?
Graham Hess: No, I'm not.
Merrill: All right, you want them stealing something in the house next time?

Graham Hess: Lionel Prichard and the Wolfington brothers are back.
Merrill: It's time for an ass-whupping.
Graham Hess: This is not an intelligent way to approach this. Lee is a friend of mine. This is his son.
Merrill: Yeah, we'll be doing Lee a favor. All right, listen, we both go outside, move around the house in opposite directions. We act crazy, insane with anger, make them crap in their pants, force them around till we meet up on the other side.
Graham Hess: Explain "act crazy".
Merrill: You know, curse and stuff.

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