Let's get pissed and watch porn

Billy Mack

Annie: Right, I'll just go get my things, and then let's fix the country, shall we?
Prime Minister: Yeah, I can't see why not.

I left Elton John's, where there were a hefty number of half-naked chicks with their mouths open, to hang out with you, at Christmas. It's a terrible mistake, Chubs, but you turn out to be the fucking love of my life. And to be honest, despite all my complaining, we have had a wonderful life.

Billy Mack

I had an uncle called Terence once. Hated him. Think he was a pervert. But I very much like the look of you.

Prime Minister

Jo and I had a lot of time to prepare for this moment. Some of her requests - for instance, that I should bring Claudia Schiffer as my date to the funeral - I am confident she expected me to ignore.


John: So, what do you reckon to our new Prime Minister, then?
Judy: I like him. Can't understand why he's not married, though.
John: Oh, you know the type. Married to his job. Either that or gay as a picnic basket.

Prime Minister: I'm not so sure politics and dating really go together.
The President: Really? I never found that.
Prime Minister: Yes, well, the difference is that you're sickeningly handsome whereas I look increasingly like my Aunt Mildred.

Did you ever have this kind of problem? Yeah - of course you did, you saucy minx.

Prime Minister

Harris Street old lady: Aren't you the Prime Minister?
Prime Minister: Yes, in fact, I am. Merry Christmas. Part of the service, now. Trying to get round to everyone by New Year's Eve.

Daniel: And I'm afraid there's something really wrong, you know. I mean, clearly it's about his mum, but Christ, he might be injecting heroin into his eyeballs for all I know.
Karen: At the age of eleven?
Daniel: Maybe not his eyeballs, then. Maybe just his veins.

Prime Minister: Right. So, not quite as secret as we'd hoped.
Natalie: Right. What should we do?
Prime Minister: Smile. Give a little bow. Wave.

[on phone] Hello, babe. No, I'm not busy, no - fire away.


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