Steve Rogers: [relieved] Nick Fury, you son of a bitch!
Nick Fury: Whoa ho ho! You kiss your mother with that mouth?

Ultron: Don't compare me with Stark! He's a sickness!
Tony Stark: Aww, junior, you're going to break your old man's heart...

Steve Rogers: But if you put the hammer in an elevator?
Tony Stark: It'll still go up.
Steve Rogers: Elevators not worthy.

Maria Hill: [from trailer] All set up boss.
Tony Stark: Actually he's the boss.
Tony Stark: I just pay for everything and design everything, make everyone look cooler.

Tony Stark: If I lift it, do I get to rule Asgard?
Thor: Yes, of course.
Tony Stark: I will be fair, but firmly cruel.
Thor: No, I'm sure.

You didn't see that coming?

Pietro Maximoff

Get out of my house! My big house!

Walter Keane

That's not testifying, that's filibustering.

Judge

Sweep the gutters before the taste police arrive.

Ruben

Walter Keane: Would you rather sell a $500 painting, or a million cheaply reproduced posters?
Walter Keane: See, folks don't care if it's a copy.

Ruben: Why are their eyes so big?
Walter Keane: Eyes are the windows to the soul!

Jimmy: Meet your groomsmen!
Doug Harris: These guys can not be my groomsmen. It looks like the entire cast of Goonies grew up and became rapists!

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