Harry Osborn: Now... lets see who's behind the mask
[pulls off mask and reveals Peter]
Harry Osborn: [stumbles backwards] No... it can't be
Spider-Man: [gets up] Harry, where is he? You have to tell me where he is!
Harry Osborn: [pause] Peter... you killed my father.
Spider-Man: There are bigger things happening here than me and you

Dr. Otto Octavius: Peter Parker! And the girlfriend!
Peter Parker: What do you want?
Dr. Otto Octavius: [grabs Peter with a tentacle] I want you to find your friend Spider-Man. Tell him to meet me at the Westside Tower at 3 o'clock.
Peter Parker: But I don't know where he is.
Dr. Otto Octavius: [takes his sunglasses off with a tentacle] Find him. Or I'll peel the flesh off her bones...
[Tentacle snaps at Peter]
Peter Parker: [angrily] If you lay... one finger on her...
Dr. Otto Octavius: You'll do what?

Stop babbling, boy!

Teddy Roosevelt

Cecil: [while Larry is chasing Cecil] These are trained horses, Larry. They won't stop until they hear a specific word.
Larry: Oh, you mean a word like... DAKOTA!

Some are born great, others have greatness thrust upon them.

Teddy Roosevelt

Mr. McPhee: Oh, haha - look at me, the comedy night guard. Do you want to get into a battle of humor? Do you?
Larry: Um, no. No I don't want to get into a battle of humor.
Mr. McPhee: That's right, because it would be a bloodbath. Nothing funny about Little Big Horn, is there?

Jedadiah: I'm gonna shoot you in your dang eye. In your dadgum eye.
[gun clicks empty]
Larry: Yeah. Keep shootin'. Nothing's gonna happen.
Jedadiah: Now you know my shame. Jedadiah's impotent rage. His guns don't fire. Take me away.

Larry: Ah yes, he was our fourth president, right?
Rebecca: Twenty-sixth

[Showing lighter to cavemen] Hey guys? Quest for fire, over.

Larry

Larry: [speaking to Civil War diorama figures] The North wins. Slavery is bad. But the South has the Allman brothers...
[hesitates]
Larry: ... and... NASCAR.

[about Sacajawea]
Larry: Was she deaf? She seems a bit unresponsive.
Rebecca: That's because she's a statue...

[Monkey slaps Larry on the head, Larry retaliates] Lawrence, who's evolved?

Teddy Roosevelt

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