Eddie: Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch.
Jane Smith: This lying bitch?
Eddie: Guess that was just wishful thinking.
[after firing a rocket launcher] We should so not be allowed to buy these.John Smith
Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart... and that's saying something!John Smith
John Smith: Dance with me.
Jane Smith: You don't dance.
John Smith: It was just my cover, sweetheart.
Jane Smith: Was sloth your cover too?
John Smith: Come to Daddy.
Jane Smith: [after she bashes him with a teapot and headbutts him] Who's your Daddy now?
What are you a wizard? A genius? Why didn't you tell me that before?Meg Swan
And to think that in some countries these dogs are eaten.Buck
I didn't ask for your opinion. I asked for a toy that you don't have!Meg Swan
This? This is a fish. This is a fish! You know what? Just shut up.Meg Swan
No, that's a bear in a, in a bee costume.Meg Swan
Stefan Vanderhoof: [talking about the first time he saw Scott showing a dog] They had the same prance, the same rhythm, it was like they were two members of the same body.
Scott Donlan: I knew a guy who had two members on the same body, dated him for about a half hour, got *so* exhausted. I'm sorry, go on, you were telling a story?
We started this magazine, 'American Bitch'. It's a focus on the issues of the lesbian pure bred dog owner.Christy Cummings