Jerry Maguire: This is going to change everything.
Dorothy: Promise?

Jerry Maguire: What do you want from me? My soul?
Dorothy: Why not? I deserve that much.

Jerry Maguire: The fuckin zoo is closed, Ray.
Ray: You said fuck.
Jerry Maguire: Uh... yeah... I...
Ray: Don't worry. I won't tell.

Jump in my nightmare, the water's warm!

Jerry Maguire

Maybe love shouldn't be such hard work.


I've had three lovers in the past four years, and they all ran a distant second to a good book and a warm bath.


Rod Tidwell: Who's your motherfucker?
Jerry Maguire: You're my motherfucker!

Dorothy: He's coming over.
Laurel: Tonight?
Dorothy: He just lost his best client. I invited the guy over.
Laurel: Dorothy, this is not a guy. It's a syndrome. Early mid-life. Hanging on to the bottom wrong. "Dear God, don't let me be alone or I call my newly long suffering assistent without medical for company settlement." If now all you still want is him to come over, I'm not saying anything.
Dorothy: Honey, he's engaged.

I love him! I love him for the man he wants to be. And I love him for the man he almost is.


There is a sensitivity thing that some people have. I don't have it. I don't cry at movies, I don't gush over babies, I don't buy Christmas presents 5 months early, and I DON'T tell the guy who just ruined both our lives, "Oh, poor baby." But I do love you.

Avery Bishop

Ray: D'you know that the human head weighs 8 pounds?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that Troy Aikman, in only six years, has passed for 16,303 yards?
Ray: D'you know that bees and dogs can smell fear?
Jerry Maguire: Did you know that the career record for hits is 4,256 by Pete Rose who is NOT in the Hall of Fame?
Ray: D'you know that my next door neighbor has three rabbits?
Jerry Maguire: I... I can't compete with that!

If you ever want me to be with another woman for you, I'd do it. It's not something I'm interested in. Once, yeah, it seemed normal, but it was just a phase, a college thing, like torn Levi's or law school for you. Would you like something from the kitchen? I'm gonna get some fruit.

Avery Bishop

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