Jerry Maguire: What are you doing with me, Rod?
Rod Tidwell: Why?
Jerry Maguire: I'm finished, I'm fucked. Twenty four hours ago, man, I was hot! Now... I'm a cautionary tale. You see this jacket I'm wearing, you like it? Because I don't really need it. Because I'm cloaked in failure! I lost the number one draft picked the night before the draft! Why? Let's recap: Because a hockey player's kid made me feel like a superficial jerk. I ate two slices of bad pizza, went to bed and grew a conscience!
Rod Tidwell: Well, boo-f-cking-hoo
Laurel

It's not "show friends." It's show *business*.

Bob Sugar

I don't like black people? I am Mister black people.

Jerry Maguire

The key to this business is personal relationships.

Dicky Fox

I am out here for you. You don't know what it's like to be ME out here for YOU. It is an up-at-dawn, pride-swallowing siege that I will never fully tell you about, ok?

Jerry Maguire

Julian Taylor: You're smoking?
Theodore Faron: Yeah; it's not working.

[about Kee's name choice for her unborn child] This is the first baby born in 20 years and you want to name it Froley?

Theodore Faron

Kee: What the f-ck you staring at?
Theodore Faron: Apparently, the pleasure is all mine.

You're a fascist pig!

Theodore Faron

The world was stunned today by the death of Diego Ricardo, the youngest person on the planet, the youngest person on earth was 18 years, 4 months, 20 days, 16 hours, and 8 minutes old.

TV Reporter

Jasper: What did you do for your birthday?
Theodore Faron: Nothing.
Jasper: Oh come on, you must have done something.
Theodore Faron: Nope. Woke up, felt like shit. Went to work, felt like shit.
Jasper: That's called a hangover, Amigo.

You hear that ringing in your ears? That 'eeeee'? That's your ear cells dying. You'll never be able to hear that frequency again. Enjoy it while you can.

Julian Taylor

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