What am I gonna do with 40 subscriptions to Vibe?Peter Gibbons
Peter Gibbons: Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?
Joanna: Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.
Peter Gibbons: Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.
Milton Waddams: Excuse me? Excuse me, senor? May I speak to you please? I asked for a mai tai, and they brought me a pina colada. And I said no salt, NO salt on the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass...
Mexican Waiter: Lo siento mucho, senor... [Under his breath] Pinche gringo.
Milton Waddams: [as waiter walks away] And yes, I won't be leaving a tip, 'cause I could... I could shut this place down. Sir? I'll take my traveler's checks to a competing resort. I could write a letter to your nation's board of tourism and I could have this place condemned. I could put... I could put... strychnine in the guacamole. There was salt on the glass, BIG GRAINS of salt.
Bill Lumbergh: Milton, we're gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, mmmKay? [leaves]
Milton Waddams: Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...
Nina: Now Milton, don't be greedy, let's pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece!
Milton Waddams: Yeah, but last time I didn't receive a piece.
Nina: Just pass.
Milton Waddams: [mumbling] But... the ration of people to cake is...
[cake is passed, everybody but Milton gets a piece]
Milton Waddams: [whispering] Set the building on fire.
"Due to our tight fiscal situation, we regret to inform you we are still going to have to close your station. Good luck in Sherbune, John. And give your men my best. Sincerely, Governor Fuckhead."Captain O'Hagan
Thorny: Now Officer Rabbit and I are going to stand here while the three of you smoke the whole bag.
College Kid: Please, no?
Thorny: You smell something, Rabbit?
Rabbit: *sniff sniff* ... Fear.
Thorny: [after pulling car over] Do you know how fast you were going back there?
College Kid 1: Umm... 65?
College Kid 1: But... isn't the speed limit 65?
Thorny: Yeah. It is.
College Kid 2: [stoned] I'm freakin' out, man!
You gonna set my country music award on fire?Rabbit
Thorny: All right Arlo, why don't you hop up on Uncle Rabbit's lap?
Rabbit: [Indicating that he still has an erection] I don't think that's such a good idea, Thorny!
Thorny: Say Farva, you wanna take this dispatch?
Farva: Hell, yeah!
Thorny: Yeah, I bet you would.