The helmet I was wearing... Oh come on, that's funny. That's really funny, I mean I'm the only person who wears a helmet to work who isn't putting out fires or racing for NASCAR. But what do you do, I can't quit... their insurance is amazing, what do you do? You laugh. I'm not saying I don't cry but in between I laugh and I realize how silly it is to take anything too seriously. Plus, I look forward to a good cry. It feels pretty good.


So what do we do? What do we do?

Andrew Largeman

I don't want to waste another moment of my life without you in it.

Andrew Largeman

You know, this necklace makes me think of this totally random memory of my mother. I was a little kid, and I was crying for one reason or another. And she was cradling me, rocking me back and forth, and I can just remember the silver balls rolling around. And there was like snot running down my nose. And she offered me her sleeve and told me to blow my nose into it. And I can remember, even as a little kid, thinking to myself, this is love... this is love.

Andrew Largeman

Andrew Largeman: Can you imagine being the guy whose job it is to argue for the right to build a mall on top of a geological phenomenon?
Mark: They love their malls here, man.

Sam: We're not gonna make out or anything, okay?
Andrew Largeman: What?
Sam: Oh, I'm sorry. I just totally ruined that moment, didn't I?

Sam: Tickle is my favorite thing in the whole world. It's all that's left of Nanny, my blanket.
Andrew Largeman: Tickle is all that remains. Was there a hurricane or something?
Sam: Shut up!

Plus, the benefits are great, you know? If I get shot on the job, I'm like... *MMM*... rich!


Andrew Largeman: You're a COP, Kenny?
Kenny: Yeah, I know!
Andrew Largeman: ...Why?
Kenny: I don't know, man. Had nothing better to do.

OK, so... so... sometimes I lie. I mean, I'm weird, man. About random stuff too, I don't even know why I do it. It's like... it's like a tick, I mean sometimes I hear myself say something and think, Wow, that wasn't even remotely true.


Andrew Largeman: There's a handful of normal kid things I kind of missed.
Sam: There's a handful of normal kid things I kind of WISH I missed.

Sam: Wow. That's pretty damn random of you there, Andrew. Nice to meet you, can I use you?
Andrew Largeman: No.
Sam: It must be the Hollywood in you.

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