You know what? I'm sick of being in the van. You guys are going to be in the van next time. I've been in the van for 15 years, Harry.

Gib

What did you expect, Harry? Helen's a flesh and blood woman and you're never there. It was only a matter of time.

Gib

I married Rambo!

Helen Tasker

Women. Can't live with 'em. Can't kill 'em!

Gib

You're fired!

Harry

Let's face it. The 'Vette... gets 'em wet!

Simon

Kids - 10 seconds of joy, 30 years of misery.

Gib

Faisil: [the van is slipping on ice] Hey, watch it. Gib: It's called ice, and it gets a little slick.

Faisil: They call him the Sand Spider.
Spencer Trilby: Why?
Faisil: Probably because it sounds scary.

Yeah, I remember the first time I got shot out of a cannon.

Gib

Same thing happened to me with wife number two, 'member? I have no idea nothing's going on, right? I come home one day and the house is empty, and I mean completely empty. She even took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of a sick bitch takes the ICE CUBE trays out of the FREEZER?

Gib

Female Neighbor: Excuse me? Excuse me. Never sleep with that man, never loan him money, and never believe a word he tells you. That's free advice.
Vincent Benedict: Morning, Agnes.

FREE Movie Newsletter